Have a look at the following video and pay attention to the older guy with the cowboy hat (from 02:50 onwards):
This is what a positive male father figure looks like and what most men are missing as fathers, older brothers, mentors and leaders. It’s a nice nugget of inspiration I stumbled upon.
In contrast to female/maternal/motherly guidance you’ll notice:
– The guy holds those crossfitters accountable (“dig yourself out of that hole”). A typical zeitgeist female/mother response would be: “you did your best, it’s ok, let it go, come here, let me nurture you”
– He gives technical advice. Teaching a craft was for centuries the most common way to initiate manhood, so that technical talk is a language boys are prone to by nature.
– He is even more enthusiastic than the lifter after being successful, which is worth more, because he simply holds back before. Again, a female/mother/maternal nurturing type would cheer her child up as soon as she sees signs of struggle (“great! keep going, you’re doing good!” …), because this is what she responds to, because of inherent weakness she needs empowering assistance to get through some task. The boy in contrast doesn’t. He is equipped to face challenges. As superficial as this sounds to someone being immersed in post-feminism western culture, it’s quite accurate. Cheering him up makes him question himself and does the opposite. The old guy knows this and is there after the challenge.
– He speaks in the language of respect. Remember: respect is the male currency, attention is the female currency. That is why he shakes hands as a sign of congratulation.
– He gives little, verbal slaps in the face (“Hold your back tighter. Now go over there”) to teach responsiblity, challenge, etc. and he does so in front of an audience, which is something a mother figure would NEVER do. In her mind the kid’s performance is reflective of her, so she would immediately “lower” the failure of the boy in the audience’s eyes (“That was way too heavy anyways. Not even young Arnold could lift that”). But a mature father type knows that this kind of humiliation works. He basically says: focus, put in more effort, you can do it, tap into your core. It’s simply, but no easy, so get back onto it with heightened alertness.
– His body language and loudness of voice is positively dominant in general and thereby provides a role model and something to rub against to, because in that kind of spontaneous, semi-serious competition he can get on your nerves by acting the way he does. But that is not what matters. Dragging the boy through a task that allows him to grow… is what matters, so he is fine with negativity and resentment being projected onto him.
There is more and he isn’t perfect, but it’s nonetheless a great, rare example of paternal personality traits, that were completely erased from the Average Joe over the course of multiple decades of “female emancipation”. And the school system is at the core of this movement, but that’s somehow what people asked for. Just look at grade inflation and what it tells you about whether paternal or maternal values are shaping society. The school system doesn’t teach the message: “You suck at this. Get back to work, struggle, struggle some more, face challenge, overcome, grow and move on with more wisdom.”
It teaches: “Oh, poor boy. You did your best, you’re not a failure, you’re special anyways, it’s not your fault, external reasons are to blame, let us adjust the grade system, so we all can keep feeling good about ourselves.”
…and all of a sudden you have created a society that NEEDS legal weed and 4K-VR-porn for its boys not to go nuts.