It seems like the boys don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all

When it comes to dating, mating and gender issues in the sexual marketplace young men need to understand that they’re up against a genetically engrained and tightly knitted phalanx of social policy that gets regularly re-emphasized on a broad level to maintain power. Let me explain…

For men any sex is good sex. For women only specific sex is good sex. That’s why the main focus of most versions of game is on the beginning stages of a relationship from approach to getting to know to penis into vagina. Men prefer a mass approach. That’s why one of the most popular dating seminars for men is called “Double Your Dating”, whereas for women the most popular is called “Catch Him And Keep Him”. There aren’t any routines/models for men out there on how to keep her for a lifetime or how to master marriage and living together after retirement (if there actually are, they are just compromises). Although young men sometimes wish for such a thing, because they don’t take aging (and thereby loss of attractiveness and sexual marketplace value) into account, once they suffer from “she’s the only one”-syndrome.
If you left your tribe back in the day to conquer foreign pussy, it might not have been morally ok, but genetically even more so. Nature encourages such behavior. It’s ok to put the tribe at a higher survival risk by substracting one grown man from the tribal’s collective fighting power in order for him to try and spread his genes. This is a crucial distinction. This is the root of why men will never stand a chance against feminism and similar social issues. Men will survive and do ok regardless of social winds, but they will never flock together in a way women will. Men will never speak with one voice and proclaim to now correct things after angry spinsters have taken it too far.
Feminism and everything that comes along with it is the result of a collective effort. As long as only one woman steps out of line you can call her a whore or a witch and be done with her – that’s socially ok. Look at history. But as soon as women combine their efforts to provoke social change, men stand no chance, because they lack that very mechanism of combining powers. From nature’s standpoint it’s simply not necessary and thereby restricted to the fighting realm. Men understand honor and respect on a much deeper level than women do. And when the tribe gets attacked, men are able to put personal issues aside and fight with the very men they might have argued with only minutes earlier. But that’s it. Within the social realm men lack this higher arch of weaving personal agendas into one big social agenda. Hence feminism and no male counterpart. Hence every other female social issue and no male counterpart.
Even beta males are a result of this. If we can agree upon the fact that there indeed is a social hierarchy within human societies based on status and power, then the mating strategy of “the beta male” would make no sense on first glance and beta males shouldn’t exist. But they clearly do. So we must assume that it is in nature’s best interest to have weaker males betray, trick and manipulate in order to reproduce. It’s a form of competition, which is survival of the fittest.

This is the most powerful dynamic shaping western societies today. A guy can go: “I’m a democrat and you’re a republican! I hate your values and the way you go about them, but as soon as the Russians set foot, I will fight side by side with you to the bitter end in order to protect this great country of ours and everyone in it!”
It’s behavior by design, because it increases chances of survival. There is a really great book on this that should be on every red pill reading list: “Warriors vs. Worriers” by Joyce Benenson.
On the social side of society though, a guy can never proclaim: “I’m weak and you’re strong, so you get all the pussy. It is what it is, fml ok bye!”
He will instead go by the following: “I’m weak and you’re strong, so you get all the pussy. BUT as soon as a tiny window of opportunity opens, I will go all in no matter what and make my move, fuck you buddy!”

So because honor, respect and the ability to quickly form cohesive fighting groups don’t transfer into the social realm, women will ALWAYS have an upper hand on social issues. That’s why equal pay, female CEOs, Sandberg’s Lean In, women’s rights and every other female issue of its time will always be societally more important and more visible than the corresponding male issue. Women can socially speak with one voice and like a secret sisterhood can all unspokenly agree to some higher agenda. They seem to have the upper hand because they have more collective force behind them.

If one male politician would propose to revert third wave feminism and put up a really solid, stringent and logical argument that every sane mind would have to agree with, he would end his career in an instant and had to leave the country the same day. The content wouldn’t even be discussed. Women would immediately speak with one united voice and declare war through different kinds of social warfare where men lack weaponry and armour. All kinds of men would even show solidarity in order to follow their own mating strategy of “it’s ok to betray the tribe as long as it might spread genes”.

One recent example of this dynamic in action is this piece in Vanity Fair, that has a “modern western woman” post-smv-peak arguing that dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid are ruining dating culture for women for good, because men all of a sudden have so many opportunities (Tinder = digital 24/7 pussy ordering drivethru), that women get degraded and objectified and can’t do anything about it. The article even provoked an unexpected outburst of beta male rage straight from the Tinder headquarters via Twitter. That’s how it got my attention, because that outburst allowed the best weapon of female social policy shaping to come forward: shaming. Tinder got shamed for their response by a collective female response in various outlets.

The headline of my post right here is “It seems like the boys don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all” quoted from the above Vanity Fair article. One of the girls interviewed about the current state of Tinder and modern dating said it.

Actually, I’m kidding. It’s a sentence that doesn’t exist.

It literally doesn’t exist, because I changed one word. The original sentence says: “It seems like the girls don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all”.

That’s what the interviewed woman said. Now she sounds more sane.

And not only does my headline not exist in that article, it doesn’t exist at all, because no sane guy would ever say this or complain about it. Men can’t speak with a collective social voice and women are exclusively concerned with their own issues. Nature intended it that way.

So you end up with such a narcotic irony that you feel mentally butt-fucked after reading that article.

I’ll show you. Follow along.

Tinder is a dating app.
It’s magic is digital database pre-selection.
Only if both parties approve of each other beforehand through swiping, it’s a match and contact can be made.
That’s why the app is profitable/successful and soon after every other dating service copied this methodology.
This is tremendously empowering to women and their sexual marketplace agenda of mating with the most high status male available – by their own choosing.
Before Tinder women had to exhaustingly sift through endless piles of messages in order to find a worthy guy.

So if men were able to speak with one united social voice, there would have been a crazy backlash of ““It seems like the boys don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all” after Tinder’s first release a few years ago. But there was none. Although the “both parties need to approve thing” is actually a beta male censor, highly hindering/sabotaging many males in their dating efforts, but it’s subtle enough that it got through and as we know, men didn’t care, because they aren’t even aware of it and mankind’s history has quite worse reproduction bottlenecks up its sleeve: famine, war, societies ruled by one king/emperor, fixed ranks of status adopted with birth (knight – peasant), conquering the new world where there possibly are no women, etc.

So, now that the initial idea and usecase of Tinder gets turned around from “beta male filter” to “pussy buffet” women rise and complain. Again. Hypergamy at its collective best.

And that’s why marrying more than one woman will very likely stay illegal for many decades to come, althoug we proclaim to be a tolerant society that is on its way to have fully legalized gay marriage and is about to fully legalize weed. But multiple wives is a different beast. It would be the end to Hypergamy. And for Hypergamy to end we would need a different (arabian) god or the ability to speak with one voice as men on the social stage. Neither we have or will have. So single awareness is all a man can do in these crazy times.

And while you raise your awareness by reading “Warriors vs. Worriers”, I’ll have a quick look at today’s pussy buffet… ;-)

It seems like the boys don’t have any control over the situation, and it should not be like that at all

Hi, my name is American Pop Culture! Please have a seat!

Hi, you don’t know me. But I know you very very very well. So let me introduce myself. My name is American Pop Culture. Just call me Pop. We haven’t met before. Let’s just say I’m the father you never had that Hannibal Lectored the mother you never had.
My sole wish for you is to wait. That’s my every desire. I want you to wait. Stay put and be cool, ok? Everything will be taken care of, everything will be figured out. Just stay where you are and wait. Please, I mean it.

You see, we need another 20 years until SKY.NET finishes the Matrix and turns you into a bio-digestable battery. Just wait. We will send you a cute, PG-13, no explicit language Transformer that got lost 3 galaxies away and has a soft spot for shaved chimpanzees, that although they call themselves civilized still fight all the time. He won’t save you, but at least that Transformer will make it less bad and you won’t feel lost, when Agent Smith starts to laugh.
On top of that the Umbrella Corporation won’t be releasing its T-Virus before 2018, which will take care of your family, so that your family can “take care” of you. You’ll try to avoid this by teaming up with some recovering alcoholic hillbillies and a chemistry teacher with a death sentence around his neck, but believe me: the T-Virus is simply for your own good. It will help tremendously with all those negative thinking patterns of yours. I know, it’s because of your parents. I’m here for you and I care.

In the meantime I want you to chill out on your mortgage powered patio over there and drink what the polar bear next to you is having. Don’t worry, it’s healthy because the green color on the label says so.
Look, I’m really sorry I fucked up in the early 90s, when I failed to provide a new narrative after the Soviets imploded. I should have known better. I saw the declining church visits and knew you like yourself some enemies to make sense of it all. But I really tried hard afterwards. I offered Free Credit® to Doug Heffernan, the friendly parcel deliveryman, AND his wife, the secretary. I came up with Evolution for all those “sciency” people. Granted, that was absolutely genius marketing back then. People stopped looking at Physics and Chemistry and Biology and Math for explanations and making sense of the world. Really perfect timing, because the idea of free will kept creeping back in. Evolution made determination cool again. It soothed your narcissistic tendencies, because suddenly you weren’t lost anymore, but the result of a loooooong line of straight heros. If you don’t believe me, just watch Star Wars, ok? You know the way you do X? And not Y? It’s because your grand-grand-grand-grand-grand-grrrrraaaaaand³³³³-father did X that way. Give me that annoying thing called responsibility back. Just blame it on your ancestors from now on. Got it? Good, I’m here for you.

And yes, I know it’s still super tough for you to hold your smartphone in one hand in front of your head while jerking off with the other, when you’re having your first wank of the day – in the office toilet at 10am. Especially when you can’t find the right clip that’s just exciting enough. “Bound gangbangs are so vanilla, dude” I know, that bitch calls herself an adult actress and won’t even be doing anal dp with ass to mouth afterwards. Seriously? What kind of work ethic is that?? But it’s not my fault that you struggle at your office and need to commute again. You simply didn’t make the most out of my just perfect idea of the home office. Working in your pyjamaZ, R U 4 realZ? I really tried hard with that one. 4G Netflix, Amazon Fresh Prime Instant Video Fire Plus, drone delivery – everything’s just one app away. It’s really difficult for me to make something cool again, once people with brains have realized it’s bullshit. But I’m working on it. At least vr porn is just 3 years away (which NBC will tell you is 5, because they want to hop on it and Fox will say is the second horseman of the Apocalypse). And yes, you can link your fleshlight via Bluetooth – no problemo senor.
By the way, as soon as the last season of Game of Thrones aired, I want you to get serious and marry Becky. You know, that’s what people your age do, don’t you see? Oh, you remember Becky, right? She’s the whale that stranded in your living room. You’ve known her since Junior High. It took you guys 7 years to find each other and have sex. That way you know it’s the real thing. Plus Becky finds it funny that you livestream every Apple product release conference and angrily tweet about their lack of innovation. She even played Mario Kart with you twice and gave you a blowjob on New Year’s Eve, when she was really drunk. She’s just as neurotic as you are, that’s why she’s your soulmate. Well, until that one time in Vegas where Avicii told her to live a life she will remember. She then had ten black cocks for dessert. She did not go along and find a cure for cancer, although that would have rhymed better with remembeeerr. Don’t judge her. It wasn’t her fault. It was a foam cannon party, alright, those fruity cocktails didn’t even taste like alcohol and them ten monstercocks just slipped in somehow. Please put a ring on her finger and please make it Facebook Messenger official. That’s how people learn these days. Believe me, I checked the Bible on it, which has parts from the Tora in it. It was different half a century ago, but I almost got rid off Radio from back then and TV is next, because those mediums know too little about you. I’m here for you. Don’t betray me, son, because I care. I’m your friend.

The only thing that can get in my way and fuck me in the buttoxhole where it hurts, is a DANGEROUS BRAIN. I’m being completely honest with you. I’ma lay it all out and put it on the table in front of you. There are many Dangerous Brains out there, but I’m not worried. I have FIFA and Monsanto and Disney on my side (the last one we call Marvel for you, because you have something that resembles a penis down there). Being a Dangerous Brain is tough. You need to constantly be open to growth, work out, eat healthy, value your time, read a lot and expose yourself to contrasting ideas. You need to do things for the long term instead of their instantaneous gratificational value. You need to look at the big picture and maintain foundational sharpness while reaching for the stars. Don’t worry about that.
I control the conversation. Elon Musk wants to die on Mars? Ok, Elon. Let’s make Mars a nice resort for people to go to then – two weeks per year of vacation are great, ok, don’t you know how the tax system works, man? Listen, advancing is bad. Change is dangerous. See, you still don’t understand. I’m not your enemy. I’m your closest friend. I know you. I know you better than you do. I care for you. And i’m worried. Dangerous Brains want to stir things up. They want to change this precious world of ours. That’s not nice. That’s not comfortable. It’s mean and disruptive (you know that last word, right? I taught it to you through endless articles on TechCrunch). Don’t listen to them. They already fucked up cigarettes for us. What happened to daredevils like James Dean and just having a good smoke in the sun? I am your friend. See, when you walk outside and you see those nice little parental signals lighting up, allowing you to cross the street? MY IDEA. When it’s 3pm and you feel a little tired and foggy, so you have to go to Walmart and get yourself some nice energy in a neon-colored can? MY IDEA. I am here for you. Who organized those shelves in there? ME. Don’t you think everything is in place and just right? I DO.
I made this world and in contrast to those Dangerous Brains, I care for you. Don’t you see? I’m even willing to legalize weed for you and gay marriage for your sister. AT THE SAME TIME you can still keep your guns and your sister can still keep her tabloids. Isn’t that nice? If you want me to, I’ll rip the femininity out of your women, so that they work and earn money in order to pay for your dinner. I know you like burgers. I’m on your team. Oh, wait – that was those 90s again. Anyways, please do me a favor in return, just listen to your push notifications and don’t change, ok? Just wait. Stay put. I don’t like the 1% percent neither. I already took Vertu smartphones away from them and I killed Blackberry to make those Wall Street snobs cry. I’m working on it, but grant me some time, man. The Apple watch is already attacking Rolex. I’m equalizing things for you. Just like in Hunger Games. I was the one who leaked Katniss’ nude pictures. Didn’t you enjoy that? And just wait until Google buys Uber. Fuck those fancy European cars. I have many good things in store for you to make the pain go away. Please be nice and just stay put, ok? All that time you didn’t even know I was there. I still silently hammered away in the background to carve out your future and I will keep doing so. So please relax, that’s not your job. Here’s a new burger joint for you. It has the words Heart + Attack in the name. That way you know it’s safe. Have a seat. Everything will be figured out. I want you to feel good NOW. All you have to do is slide your credit card through here please. Thank you, Sir, have a nice day, enjoy your food, god bless and exit through the gift shop. What? Just follow the signs, goddammit!!

Hi, my name is American Pop Culture! Please have a seat!

There is no denser concentration of…

…desperate energy in the whole universe than a western woman without kids and without husband on her 40th birthday.

Read this article. Then come back.

The first thing you’ll notice is that the protagonist Rinaldi HAS a husband although I said otherwise above. But: a husband is usually considered a perfect hybrid of lover and provider (aka the primal female dilemma) – only then he is suitable and keeps her in check. The guy she married though is merely a provider (let alone a lover) and favors fleeing into infertility over being closer bound to her by law, religion and society through having a child together. His impotence then makes him cry a lot, which he blames onto her in order to not take responsibility and he accepts a whole bunch of other weird shit from her, but that’s his own beta misery and not the focus of this post.


Female biology is more friendly than male biology in terms of hinting towards a life’s journey. The girl becomes a woman with her first period and she turns officially old (biologically exempt) with entering menopause. Inbetween those stages you have varying, overblending degrees of becoming fertile, being fertile, peak fertility, still being fertile, still being a little fertile and not being fertile anymore. This goes along with her physical appearance and basically guides her thinking and the motivations beneath. Thus aware RedPill thinkers like Rollo Tomassi are able to identify specific episodes of such a female-biological journey and emphasize the psychological motivations behind them: Hypergamy, the Wall, etc.

For a man such a biological structure to his progression in life isn’t that obviously provided by nature. No boy is considered a man because of his first ejaculation. And although male fertility decreases with age, it doesn’t come to a full halt way before death. Thereby man’s prime value is “behavioralistic”, found in his behavior, not in his biology. (“Being judged by behavior” is the most important idea a man can internalize in order to live a satisfying life in alliance with his genes – honor, pride, success, competition, recognition, fame, … are all ideas floating in the male cosmos, that stem from this single understanding)

Nature doesn’t lie and a concept such as the “rationalization hamster” is just a psychological coping strategy of not having to face biological truths in a world that promotes disney-esque “you can have it all” scripts to its female population.

Another concept that isn’t often talked about in detail, but beautifully exemplified in the above article and the non-fiction (!) book it discusses is: happiness through cock carousel.

If “The Wall” is the psychological model that governs females behavior in their 30s, then “happiness through cock carousel” is the psychological model that governs females behavior in their 40s.

The less quality eggs are in the basket, the less there is put value on protecting (=maintaining exclusive quality entry) that basket.

Combine that with a consumer/media driven society that puts its sole focus on appearances instead of effort/achievement and you have a profound picture of women above 40, who racked up a number of wrong decisions a decade earlier.

There is no denser concentration of…

The right kind of male guidance

Have a look at the following video and pay attention to the older guy with the cowboy hat (from 02:50 onwards):

This is what a positive male father figure looks like and what most men are missing as fathers, older brothers, mentors and leaders. It’s a nice nugget of inspiration I stumbled upon.

In contrast to female/maternal/motherly guidance you’ll notice:

– The guy holds those crossfitters accountable (“dig yourself out of that hole”). A typical zeitgeist female/mother response would be: “you did your best, it’s ok, let it go, come here, let me nurture you”
– He gives technical advice. Teaching a craft was for centuries the most common way to initiate manhood, so that technical talk is a language boys are prone to by nature.
– He is even more enthusiastic than the lifter after being successful, which is worth more, because he simply holds back before. Again, a female/mother/maternal nurturing type would cheer her child up as soon as she sees signs of struggle (“great! keep going, you’re doing good!” …), because this is what she responds to, because of inherent weakness she needs empowering assistance to get through some task. The boy in contrast doesn’t. He is equipped to face challenges. As superficial as this sounds to someone being immersed in post-feminism western culture, it’s quite accurate. Cheering him up makes him question himself and does the opposite. The old guy knows this and is there after the challenge.
– He speaks in the language of respect. Remember: respect is the male currency, attention is the female currency. That is why he shakes hands as a sign of congratulation.
– He gives little, verbal slaps in the face (“Hold your back tighter. Now go over there”) to teach responsiblity, challenge, etc. and he does so in front of an audience, which is something a mother figure would NEVER do. In her mind the kid’s performance is reflective of her, so she would immediately “lower” the failure of the boy in the audience’s eyes (“That was way too heavy anyways. Not even young Arnold could lift that”). But a mature father type knows that this kind of humiliation works. He basically says: focus, put in more effort, you can do it, tap into your core. It’s simply, but no easy, so get back onto it with heightened alertness.
– His body language and loudness of voice is positively dominant in general and thereby provides a role model and something to rub against to, because in that kind of spontaneous, semi-serious competition he can get on your nerves by acting the way he does. But that is not what matters. Dragging the boy through a task that allows him to grow… is what matters, so he is fine with negativity and resentment being projected onto him.

There is more and he isn’t perfect, but it’s nonetheless a great, rare example of paternal personality traits, that were completely erased from the Average Joe over the course of multiple decades of “female emancipation”. And the school system is at the core of this movement, but that’s somehow what people asked for. Just look at grade inflation and what it tells you about whether paternal or maternal values are shaping society. The school system doesn’t teach the message: “You suck at this. Get back to work, struggle, struggle some more, face challenge, overcome, grow and move on with more wisdom.”

It teaches: “Oh, poor boy. You did your best, you’re not a failure, you’re special anyways, it’s not your fault, external reasons are to blame, let us adjust the grade system, so we all can keep feeling good about ourselves.”

…and all of a sudden you have created a society that NEEDS legal weed and 4K-VR-porn for its boys not to go nuts.

The right kind of male guidance

On Being A Man – 2015 Edition

The following is something I wrote up on a plane back home on Jan 2nd after having celebrated NYE. It’s a massive brain dump with a lot of free flow thinking, that I just want to get out there. It’s not polished and sometimes out of context. I planned on turning all those ideas into a variety of different blogposts and perhaps still will do so or I’ll just continue with further, deeper concepts in the future. I prefer to have this out for now and it’s still a very worthwhile read, although it’s quite unstructured in comparison to other posts on here…

Society trains you to only see the surface. This way “dummies & damage” (the driving force of modern society’s acting) are being kept in check.

You watch the news and you think (full belief, conviction without doubt), this is what happened. For every event there is an expert on set, minutes after it happened. He already has the plot figured out, the motivations and reasons and he’ll explain it to you regardless of how weird it actually appears to be. “These are the facts.” Even if you question one source of ‘facts’ (Fox VS CNN) you’ll find another source from the mediasphere to counter those first facts and then you’ve gotten through to “the truth”. It’s craziness. None of those media outlets exist to inform/educate you, let alone in a neutral way. Those are corporations interested in profits, so their goal is to operate in a similar way tabloids and other profit oriented enterprises do: provoking emotions, simplifying complex issues, engaging you by distracting you, giving you some narrative to aspire to (Most people feel branding is reflective. It is not. It is aspirational. It doesn’t teach the “what to want”, but the “how to want”). The media is a circus, an artificial and scripted illusion. And the strongest weapon of the media is hate. They want you to pick a side, because then you stop questioning that circus altogether and engage in consumer culture. If you don’t blame Obama, you blame Romney and vice versa. If you don’t blame Samsung, you blame Apple and vice versa. I’ve talked about this before, coining it the disappearance of the third alternative. A wise man once said: The only way to win is not to play.
Whenever some news coverage incites hate (or its little brothers anger and rage), then be aware that you’re being fooled – they make you pick sides, which drags along a whole other bunch of consequences. It’s the way the Matrix keeps its batteries in line. They give you a path and a system of right and wrong, so you can fall back onto the herd and its safety. You don’t have to exert mental energy, to come up with something of your own. Noam Chomsky said once, the most important thing for people in the 21st century is to learn some form of mental self defense against the media. The more you engage in it, the more you get lost. A recent study from Kobo showed that on their ebook readers only 46% of ebooks are being read start to finish. More than half the people who paid for the ebook don’t even finish it. This is a fact well known by News/Media. That’s why everything has to be sensationalized and be blown up. Articles demand effort, so they turn them into bullet points. Words demand effort, so they turn those into pictures. Pictures provide clicks and you don’t have to think as much. Both sides win. Unfortunately none of those sides is you. You lose. Name any big thinker of the last century you have read first-hand. The week after Christmas I finished a book by Will Durant about philosophers and one from Werner Jaeger. Beautifully demanding works that don’t serve as ego-inflators, but as chunks of mental nutrition, to help me navigate through modern society. If you don’t read what accomplished people have written, you don’t train the most important muscle in your body – your brain. And without training it won’t be able to come up with original stuff on its own. There is a burst of creativity and outflow in your early 20s that comes easily to some people and it can mislead you in a similar manner a young girl in her 20s is mislead by her beauty. It diminishes if you don’t put something back into it. The status quo is not a given, it goes down, if you don’t fight for it. Perseverance is the one word that comes close to resembling what being a man is about. And don’t victimize its meaning and turn it into suffering. That’s not what it is about. It’s about the journey and its challenges, it’s about growth and self-reliance. It’s about tapping into calmness in the midst of a storm.

You look at a person and see his watch, the brand names on his clothing and derive an estimated value from this. He dresses cool, so that person must be cool. You don’t think in terms of full human beings that feel pain too and are in doubts about their lives, navigating the world with a blurry map. This fool’s assessment is dangerous, because it leads to faulty feedback of how you yourself navigate the world. Don’t operate in models and put people in categories. It’s a simplification mechanism making sense in small, limited tribes, where there is benefit in quick categorization. In the modern world though, it fucks people up. Especially those that come from a wounded upbringing. The 2 most common examples of being tricked by the surface appearance of a person are
a) mistaking insecurity for arrogance.
b) mistaking regular female sexuality for sluttiness.
Almost all guys stuck in a boy paradigm are guilty of this and keeps them from leveling up. They interact with men that are just as insecure as them and instead of seeing that lack of purpose and groundedness for what it is, they protect themselves by labeling the other guy arrogant.
When they interact with girls and get a glimpse of real female sexuality, of women’s horniness, instead of seeing it for what it is and being grateful, they label the girl a slut/cunt/whore. It’s only sluttiness if “beneficiary of sluttiness” = “NOT you”.
It’s a pity they can’t overcome their upbringing and keep repeating the same mistakes.

The same “being fooled by the surface level” routine plays out with Oneitis. You don’t see the full human being, but an angel, an illusion, wishful thinking that completes those elements of your identity that you can’t provide for yourself yet.

    Guiding principle of the THIN LINE

It’s good to be selfish sometimes, it’s good to reward yourself for some achievement, but you have to realize there’s thin line of not making the reward a goal in itself. You make money and reward yourself with a new pair of shoes. Feels good wearing them, but as soon as the newness, the shine, the added self-confidence wear off, you’re at the thin line and you either can take it for what it is without falling victim to the polished facade of that product, or you can develop a craving and want the good feeling of having a product and its perceived value associated with you back. Then you have a downwards spiral and in the near future you’ll need more and shinier things to feel the same exciting worth. Which means in a few years from now you’re way worse off and engrained toxic conditioning. This is what life for most people is. The toys to enhance their personality to reflect something about them back… those get bigger. The character, the personality and the udnerstanding remain between the ages 14-18.
There’s a thin line between healthy reward & unhealthy stimulation. Most people are so off track, they don’t struggle with some unhealthy stimulus every once in a while, but with toxic overstimulation. For those candidates I believe detoxification is necessary. Full on monk in a monastery style. Remember my post about Cyclical Progress. People are stuck in one extreme and in order to counter that, they have to go into the other extreme, before finding solace in longterm middlegrounds of sustainability.
– thin line between expansion & contraction
– thin line between enduring & overcoming
– thin line between conquering & letting go
– thin line between life & death
Always being aware of the thin line is what propels me forward. There is so much to accomplish and achieve, but with every accomplishment comes a new challenge in and of itself to not rest on one’s laurels, to not settle down, to not become lazy, to not say “this is enough now, it’s comfortable here”.
While I maintain a life of constant challenge, my mind upholds the deep conviction that NOTHING is a threat to me.

Another example of being trained to only see the facade is nutrition. When you eat junk food, most people are aware somehow that it’s really artificially sweet and not natural. They believe they condition themselves to accept that factory sweetness, but what they really do, is conditioning themselves to censor out the toxicity. And that’s worse, because once the snickers bar is okay, the yet forbidden starbucks frapuccino monster gets closer to be okay as well. And that is again a downwards spiral…
Our understanding of a normal balance is relative and subjective. In terms of artifical sweeteners people are usually amazed at how sweet a coca cola is, when they have a glass after being sick for a week. The taste buds adapt really quickly and you can observe this in children as well. If they are raised on a healthy diet and you give them some energy drink to drink, there face turns into a painful grimace. That’s how unnaturally sweet it is to them.

One can observe this phenomenon of being dazzled by the surface appearance as well, when someone gets a new job or is offered a new role. The first reflex is to obtain clothing required for that role. “Make me fit in”. Ryan Holiday wrote about this in a piece called “The dress suit bribe”. They are ok with a lack of actual rewards and opportunities for achievement, as long as the new role signals identity to them and others around them. “Look I wear a suit to work now. I am someone.”

what’s your value system? what do you believe in? what do you stand for? what’s the archetypal maleness expressed by you? what do you strive for? what’s your purpose? what if i pointed a gun to your head and demanded you name one word you live by? what is “true” for you, even though noone is around?
by coincidental design we have ended up in a culture that condemns ideologies. only fascists, fundamentalists and terrorists have ideologies. religious people and feminists have them as well. at least to a degree. but because of their ideology, their strong belief in something, they share another thing: they are simple and sort of dumb, because their agenda is obvious. we despise them. that’s a fact. just one glance at pop-culture is enough. news, advertising, soap operas they all do it and it’s the publicly accepted position when we talk about people with strongly held beliefs. but is it really the belief we hate or is it the fact, that they are in opposition to us, because we lack strong believes? the system taught us to define ourselves by what we hate. that was one of the obvious conclusions of last year (see post “emerging patterns”). we have created a society where anything is possible, anything is available. if you can think of a live, you can live it. everything is there. this paralyzes people and the only way of collectively, passive-aggressively channel this, is by despising people with ideologies, people with clear cut life-plans, people with visions and people with purpose. there is something odd about them almost as if they were cut from a different cloth. that’s why we as a society have abandoned all the big visions of habitating the moon, interstellar travel, world peace, end of poverty etc. people walk through life and are concerned about their outfits, the dinner later on, but never about bigger things.
lack of ideology gives rise to opportunism and narcissism. it’s the modern “cult of me” that you see everyday in people around you, the pursuit of happiness, the desire for “when does my adventure begin? the cast is ready!”, “I am Neo! Where is Morpheus to start all this? I am chosen!!!”
in my eyes this is the backbone of modern consumerism. no 21 year old wakes up and dedicates the rest of his life to ending cancer like people in history before him did with different issues. they only invest in themselves and mostly their appearance. “Who am I? Does this represent me?”
if there was an external value system of right and wrong that you would stand by and used as a compass, your life would be much easier. if there was something that was true even though noone was around, your life would be much easier. but as soon as social peer pressure disappears you pee on some public toilet seat without wiping it off, you steal, you pick your nose, etc.
it’s your opportunism that kills you.
it’s the NEED to send bragging texts to your homies after you banged a girl. only then it feels complete.
it’s the complete lack of guilt, when you cheat, because “hey, i was a late bloomer/introvert/whatever and that was a rare chance. carpe diem motherfucker! it only hurts when she finds out…”
it’s the constant procrastination with EVERYTHING. your complete withdrawal from reality. because nowadays everything is possible, you choose to do nothing at all. too many choices.
do you have concrete plans? do you have a roadmap? are you sufficient? are you happy with your current position in life? are you aware of the fact that life is lived in different seasons of spring, summer, autumn and winter? those different seasons need different focuses. that’s why most guys want to get good with women at 20 and somehow a decade passes them by and all of a sudden they are 30 and rationalize it’s about the money now and that it was always about the money. so they not only dump getting good with girls, but they’ve managed to come up with a comforting excuse as well: getting good with girls was a shallow goal anyway. i need to make a living for myself and become rich.
no. getting good with girls is just something you handle in your 20s. without any excuse. you get it handled and become good. any excuse in your 30s is just that: a pathetic excuse.

why are you here? you get 75 years on average on planet earth. some of it is being occupied by growing up. a lot is demanded by sleep and another big chunk is reserved for illness and slowing down in old age. do the math. how much is over? how much is yet to be lived? don’t waste the golden years of being healthy, properly functioning and having a working brain. the regret will be terrible and make you vanish in mediocrity.

    mountain climbing metaphors for life:

1. i once met a multi-millionaire who chartered a helicopter during a vacation in the swiss alps that flew him to the mountain tops. he took pictures, enjoyed the view and joked around. then 3 climbers from out of nowhere showed up. they had just finished an extremely tough 4 hour free hike with barely using ropes. they were exhausted. sweaty, tired and shaky sort of. but guess who was happier up there? guess who felt out of line and who didn’t? who felt he deserved being up there? who could inhale the view and the air up there in order to propel him forward? IT IS ALWAYS ABOUT THE HIKE, NOT THE TOP
2. when climbing up a mountain and you’re midway, there is no way back. “oh this starts to become exhausting. i’ll stop and continue tomorrow” this won’t work. it’s not a video game. there is no pause button. you’ve invested, you’re half way up already. climbing down is as difficult as climbing up. you pay a price for getting out that is as demanding as getting in. so, you keep going. there are no alternatives, no gimmicks. the only exit strategy is to persevere through.
live your life this way.

the monster’s name is death/abyss/nothingness/”the indestructable destroyer”
you don’t have to fear the monster under the bed, if you become a monster yourself (man’s path. hence power, money, influence, success, competition)
you don’t have to fear the monster under the bed, if you share the bed with a monster (female’s path. hence attraction to above male traits)

the most simple key to success has always been preparation and silent repetition. i became good at anything i ever set focus on, only because i silently worked away on it like a motherfucker. day in, day out. i did not brag, i never implemented the goal and its attachments into my ego-structure and then turned away when euphoria faded.

look at any man you know first-hand. exceptions are below one percent. without knowing the guy you think of, i can tell 2 things:
a) he is not at rest (not at ease with himself and his life)
b) because he is only a fraction of what he was supposed to be by now
this is the most common dilemma with modern manhood. we get kicked to the ground by a society that favors female virtues. and by this i mean: consumption, decoration, appearance. those values raise us. we have had mothers around that told us: “you can become anything you ever want to be. you are special. you are unique. you are so talented. you are so wonderful…”
this is natural for mothers and that’s what they should do. but because of absent fathers, who fail to play their part, the mother-influence harms us and we go for “nothing at all”. the ego is fragile. we are so special, so choosing a route in life offers the possibility of experiencing failure and not being special/talented/unique. in a healthy childhood there should be an opposing father-force pushing you: “look son, while i agree with your mom and love you, i want you to know, that the world is a tough place. yes, it’s beautiful, but there is nothing for granted. i believe in you and your talents, but only a few of them will generate something meaningful and out of those only one or two will generate money. stay humble and stick to the basics of effort and perseverance. then it’ll turn out true, what your mom just said. now get back to work!”
this counter-advice lacked in most men’s life and so they get crushed by existential fear, glancing in the abyss of their existence. just as their dads. they were never raised on the idea that one can laugh at that abyss and just go full force anyway.
so on one hand men feel that “call of their fathers” to rise and shine, to do something big and legendary, to be remembered and to have contributed, on the other hand they have only experienced maternal nurturing in childhood and lack male robustness to do something regardless of fear. this paralyzes them and results in steady withdrawal from reality: tv, video games, reading, porn, eating, avoiding challenge, passiveness, desire for routine. they sort of lose friends without replacing them. they get by, but they don’t grow (coping VS thriving). they engage in consumerism and buy stuff, but it doesn’t fulfill them. and that constant awareness deep down in them – yelling out of their genes – nags at them everyday: i should be more, i should do more, i should grow more, i should try more, i should be more disciplined, i should stop being negative, etc etc etc.
the weird purgatory of in-between. no basecamp anymore, but mountaintop is still far away and most of the time you don’t even see the top because it’s foggy. as the brain gets older it crystalizes. it gets more and more difficult to change things up. learning a new language becomes tougher. the brain likes routines.
“i’ve been doing it this way all my life and it worked, so fuck you, i keep doing it this way”
even when things change and you need to adapt, the brain keeps going.
that’s why a lot of the homeless people are old. it’s a multitude of reasons but one being a brain too narrow in thinking. circumstances change and they can’t adapt, hop into a new routine, so they drop out completely.
that’s why you want and need to stay adaptive. a life long learner and student. and if that doesn’t work out in every area of life, you need a backup plan.
…and so it goes: midlife crisis, disillusionment, addiction creeping in, increasing negativity, hate, more routine… death.
don’t go down that road. understand that from the age of 18 on, you are responsible. everything your father missed out on teaching you, you do for yourself. be your own father. there is a concept from the philosopher Kant, in which he distinguished between mature/active and immature/passive citizenship. an element of becoming an autonomous/mature/self-reliant/active/educated/healthy citizen is to subsequently agree with one’s own birth. noone ever asked you if you WANTED to be born. so as a premise to an active and mature life, you give subsequent agreement and are ok with the fact of being thrown “into this”. furthermore you agree to “your life” with its very own problems, challenges and opportunities, possibilities. and lastly you agree to life in general, which results in a deep understanding of concepts such as “life is now”, “death is an inherent part of life”. this is a tremendously self-empowering idea by Kant. ultra important. most people live via substitution,surrogates and representation. they aren’t responsible for themselves. if you ask about a life choice, a big decision that brought on consequences, the responses they give are the opinions of their parents/religion/tribe/authorities. of course most people suffer and are depressed by living that way, because it doesn’t work.
dedicate your 20s to healing all childhood wounds while getting on track to your life’s purpose. 30s and 40s are an excercise in overcoming challenge and accepting failure and struggle. your 50s are fine-tuning and seeing first benefits in forms of children and wealth. the 60s is making sure you leave the right legacy and the other decades are up to you.

the backup plan to the good life is called “healthy systems”
if you have your nutrition in check by your mid 20s, you don’t need to be worried about cancer in old age, because you haven’t spent a lifetime of accumulating debt by overdoing it on white sugars. when your thinking gets narrower, simpler, less adaptive and fluid, you already have an upwards spiraling routine in line. do the same for your bank account, your wisdom etc. and you’re good.

Negativity is the most common and viral form of not taking responsibility for oneself.
Negativity is the luxury of the weak and only serves in keeping them weak.
You can’t accuse other people of their weakness. You can’t despise/blame them FOR their weakness and you can’t look down on them because of their weakness.
The fact that you are stronger and physically/mentally more capable means YOU have to walk the extra mile, not them. They don’t have to level up, because they can’t. If they could, they would.
Only weak people accuse other people of weakness.
Nature intended human group dynamics to be this way: strong people put in more, so that the group survives and everyone benefits, including the children of strong people, who are themselves weak for some periods of their lives. At the same time nature doesn’t sympathize with weak people, that’s why their pain is drastically greater and they are the first to die when facing survival bottlenecks.
–> Remember Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged: When Hank Rearden’s character is introduced he comes home and faces his petty, toxic, destructive family just after having invented Rearden Metal (huge ten year milestone and personal achievement). He doesn’t fall into their low level thinking of negativity as they accuse him of being away and selfish (which he is obviously not). He responds from his inner nature of strength and expresses his capacity to forgive them for their little bullshit, because he is big enough to take it “while still changing the world”.

What if I told you there really was a heaven. It’s different from what people usually think it is. You only get to keep on living in that heaven after you died as long as people back on earth keep talking positively about you, your ideas and your influence. If they stop you vanish. That is what fuels you up there. So contrary to popular thought heaven is not that crowded.
The question then is: what kind of life do you have to live in order to make it to heaven and stay alive up there?
Different from what it looks like now?
Interesting. Go, adjust.

It’s not your genes, it is you. the problem is always you, not other people. weakness blames the outside world, strength looks inside and asks “there were people before me who have overcome this and there are billions of dead people gone who would gratefully go back and take my place. so what can i do to move forward?”
Evolution is the only science that comes with a narrative. That’s why it’s tempting to fall for. We’re built to adapt and become resourceful when faced with bottlenecks.
The human brain always goes for narrative, coming up with a story providing meaning. it’s the essence through which we filter the world, our place and purpose. The whole psychological udnerstanding of time is based on narrative (things moving forward, unfolding). It’s what makes religion. It’s what makes evolution the prominent science in explaining life. Not physics, not chemistry. Evolution provides a narrative, some form of destiny and reasoning. That’s why we prefer it over anything else.
so in order to excel i need to become aware of narrative structures, of the way culture and society keep telling stories and teach people via stories.
i can learn more about life and the human psyche from books like “the 7 basic plots”, mcphee’s “story” or campbell’s “the hero’s journey” than from many, many, many self help books. self help books are written in the context of our times. people still follow a deeper cultural narrative of 2015. so, in addition to books about narrative structures one can learn a lot from books that weren’t written within the mono-narrative of our times: freud’s interpretation of dreams for example uses many foreign sounding expressions like “let off steam”, “pressure” etc because it was written in the context of the industrial revolution and the understanding of the steam machine reflected back onto the understanding of the human psyche. same goes for dostoievksy “notes from the underground” or kierkegaards “fear and trembling”. the way these men talk is foreign, weird and not from our world, because the cultural/social/collective narrative that shaped them was completely different.

An excuse is just a little trick of your lower consciousness to maintain the status quo (status quo = comfort & passive consumption of life)

Failure/struggle is an invitation (from life) to growth.

We’re all in the same boat as humans. The modern world has provided us with a myriad of individual philosophies from the pursuit of happiness to the accumulation of wealth and salvation after death. when the cold war ended, mankind pretty much abandoned its belief in “collective philosophies” in general. The nazis, WW2 and communism and the Soviets were all powered/fueled by collective beliefs, so as a logical consequence we abandoned ALL collective beliefs, because once adopted they are dangerous. What we didn’t realize though is that we STILL have strongly governing collective beliefs, because as a species this is how we operate and function. instead of one single idea such as socialism, christianity or “white supremacy”, we have taken all individual ideas like “pursuit of happiness”, “the american dream”, “the good life”, “cult of me”, “fulfillment of me”, “me first”, consumerism, etc and multiplied it by 7.5 billion. in the long run this will result in even more harm, because people turn shallow, opportunistic, empty, fragile, depressive. if there isn’t anything outside of you and you are the only real person, everyone else is 2-dimensional supporting cast, then all those other things have to suffer. one side effect of this is increased hostility in politics, increased pollution, worsening climate change, too much garbage everywhere, too fast consumption etc.
one can have a look at the crossfit games and ask why Rich Froning won the last 4 times. when the games come to a finish, he comes out on top. he’s an extremely talented athlete that puts in a loooot of effort, but other competitors are close and similarly well-rounded, even better in some disciplines. so why does he always win? in my personal opinion, it’s froning’s belief in Religion and God. He stated many times that winning is an opportunity for him to become more influential and spread the word about Christ. While you can question the validitiy of religion in general, this approach works, because it’s a higher goal. Froning doesn’t make the competition something about himself, something to feed his ego and gain selfish benefits from. He turns himself into a medium to do something greater. All other competitors want to beat him, so ‘they’ can be the best and get the rewards and recognition. for froning’s competitors it’s about them, the desired win is a part of their pursuit of happiness. and that’s why they never stood a chance against a guy that proclaimed “i do it for something greater than me”. this story gets played out and repeated in almost any battle in history. learn from it.
nowadays it is always about the individual and we lack collective philosophies to understand we ALL pay the price down the line if we don’t level up and mature. wars, borders, property… it’s too understandable and still makes me laugh. the enemies are cancer, climate change, lack of ressources, the barriers to interstellar travel and planetary terra-forming. we need a new philosophy of the collective that enables humans to step forward for the benefit of others. because “others” includes the people important to them as well as the people not important to them. if a strong person doesn’t better the world for the people unimportant to him, he won’t be making it better for the people important to him. we are all in one boat. it’s always been this way. stronger people step forward and endure more than weaker ones for the benefit of all.
If you are still stuck in ME vs YOU / US vs THEM mindsets then change your filter, change your perspective. go beyond race, nationality, language, religion, politics and football club. down the line we are all humans on one planet. we all have to face the indestructable destroyer (death) at some point. if i change my perspective from my little world around me to e.g. a focus on the year 2150 then all of a sudden everyone i meet shares a commonality with me: the same destiny. EVERYONE. him, her and me will all be dead by that year, so we might as well work together to change that and put our children on the moon after we turned it into a flourishing jungle.
this is no nostalgic thinking of communism. i don’t care about the specifics, all i know is that we have strong collective traits and triggers engrained into us, which one can read about in jonathan haidt’s “the righteous mind”. society has culturally neglected, denied and abandoned those traits, because they resulted in wars. plus consumerism prefers the individual. 4 cars and 4 iphones for 1 family of 4 are better than 1 car and no iphones for 1 family of 4.

being envious and accusing people is for the weak. it’s passive and manipulative. picture the president in his oval office wasting time on checking social security data from the nsa and he then decides to call poor bob in hampsy dampsy nowhere to lecture him on the phone “hey bob, here’s the president speaking. i’m in the office since 5am. i work my ass off everyday. i hustle so hard, it’s crazy. i feel the heat of the press, my hair turned grey within one year. what have you been doing? when did you get up today? work, man! work harder you lazy bitch! it sickens me that i hustle on 4 hours of sleep a night balancing the prevention of WW3 on my shoulders, and at the same time you are one lazy fat fuck not concerned with anything. woorkk!!! do something! turn productive!!!!”
can you see the president acting like that or does he focus on what’s in front of him knowing full well he puts in way more effort than a lot of other people. and he still keeps going.
–> the rewards of every path are unique. poor bob will never know what it’s like to spank a bitch in the white house. and this is just a simplified surface example. make no mistake, being on the path IS the reward in and of itself.
–> this ties in with purpose and personal boundaries as well. poor bob’s life is just distractive minutiae, but the sum of all problems of all poor bobs combined, is what the leader tackles (giving him a fish VS teaching him to fish on his own)

the more a man i am, the more tolerant i become towards frustration and falling for the illusion of arrival.
as a man i struggle with the “desire to rest”, to arrive and bring to an end (see deida), so i push it back until i’m dead.
the more i can hold the tension of fear and laugh at the existential nihilism and ultimate meanignlessness of life, the better i can take action and create something meaningful regardless.

when i look into the sky, i see the past, light sent out millions of years ago. I see eternity and i see something way bigger than me reflecting my own impotence back in comparison. instead of passing out, i accept the fact that i am an ant on a grain of sand, but i’m the most motherfucking gangsta ant that ever did it on that grain of sand, leaving behind a dynasty, a multigenerational empire of gangsta ants so robust that some descendant down the line will look at the sky (the universe and eternity) and realize he’s up to par with that ;-)

most people struggle, because they look at life and say “let’s wing it”. they freestyle, although they follow society’s beaten path. it doesn’t occur to them that there are solutions and counter-knowledge to their poverty, their recurring relationship problems and everything else. we aren’t raised this way. they don’t teach things like that. (watch adam curtis new documentary: bitter lake). we’re not taught to look at life in seasons of spring, summer, autumn, winter. all of a sudden it’s winter (aka we’re old and close to death) and go: i didn’t expect to have less energy. how am i going to provide for myself now?
plan ahead. accept life’s seasons. develop a value system that you stand by.
be judged by your behavior not by your words and put that into alignment with your values.
establish rituals and stick to them. those structures are good. don’t fall into the emptiness of the day ahead. get up and know what to tackle.
be judged by your behavior not by your words and put that into alignment with your values.

That last sentence is huge. Most modern men “tell” you who they are. They artificially design their life via Facebook, clothing, stories and alikes. “Look, how cool I am!”
Be a man that runs on behavior instead of talk. I’ll willingly get judged on my behavior everyday. It’s Jan 2nd and I got up at 5am. I already worked out, had a clean breakfast, read 50 pages from Will Durant, made 5K online, did language lessons on my goal to proficient Italian and am writing these thoughts down now, although I could be taking a nap. I usually don’t talk about those things, but this is the behavior that leads to success, not the Facebook picture, that shows an illusion to make others think in a certain way, so that you can feel a certain way about yourself.

Denial = Let’s Pretend The Old Rules Still Apply (LePreTORSA-effect)

A fat body is not adaptive. It’s heavy and slow, always behind. A fat body can’t create success. In every herd the slower animals get killed first and have to suffer first.

Awake is gratitude-based VS Asleep is fear-based

There is so much possibility, so much chance for achievement within one lifespan, IF you stay on track and focus.

It’s a fool’s game wanting to get rid of bad emotions. Every emotion is good as long as it is channeled into productivity. Cry, be sad or yell out of rage as long as what follows is taking action. The body has its own rhythms. See jonathan haidt’s rider-elephant-analogy. Always make the elephant go back to building the castle of your life’s legacy. Sometimes the elephant (primal/animal/instinctual parts of mind/body) pees, keeps eating gras and doesn’t obey to the rider. It’s alright, the elephant is not a robot and building the castle is a marathon, not a sprint.
the more you grow into the realization of your highest potential, the more intellectually sharp you will feel. it’s in a man’s nature to consider himself smart – not absolutely smart, but “smart in comparison”. it is usually true in comparison to siblings, spouses, close friends, children (!) and colleaugues. so a growing man has to be very careful to not respond with (simple/unhealthy) anger towards lack of understanding in others. “I’m a smart dude, I get it instantly! Why don’t you? You dumb fuck!” Remember that every outwards expression of a strong man provokes change/growth. simply being angry is destructive and doesn’t provoke change in other people, so it is actually a weak reaction. every emotion can be dealt with in a healthy and positive way and because anger is vitalizing it must result in forceful action without resistance to the opposing thinking in the other person (–> win-win).

High standards (no negativity, personal boundaries, ultra healthy body) + alignment (of internal purpose & external behavior) + no resistance (life ends incomplete, struggle is inherent to life) = ultimate man (what Sigmund Freud called ‘a person free of conflict’)

if you think passion is enough to succeed, you are fucked in the head.
if you think passion is what you need to get started, you are fucked in the head.
passion is a good friend that only shows up when you’re already very deep into your journey. before that… self-doubt, failure, struggle, sweat and pain walk alongside you

trick your life into importance. trick yourself into responsibility. go to the gym like the world depends on it. most people are extremely short-sighted. they think life starts with them. they are the first, they are jesus, 0 b.c.. trick yourself into thinking that you are number 150000 of a straight line of people who had to endure SO MUCH in order for you just to be alive and here. it’s a statistical fact that people before you had it more difficult than you, so make that something that holds you “accountable by genes” (no racial pun). be grateful for that gift and make the most out of life, so that your genes are still around in another 150000 years.

the tinier the task, the more important it is. a “successful life” is just the result of a huge compounding effect. you think you lost because you picked the wrong major, moved to the wrong city, bought a house too early, stayed with the wrong girl for too long, impregnated her or failed at some other big life decision. i think you lose, because your alarm clock rings at 7am and the first thing you do is hit snooze instead of jump up. i think you lose because you didn’t go to the gym last week although you proclaimed and planned on going 3 times. i think you lose, because you go to bed and you did not read a single page of that nonfiction book on your bedside table. i think you lose, because you order food in a restaurant and your mixed veggies come with unexpected potatoes and you just eat them, because there is a threshold to that mental barrier of going against the social norm by exerting energy. i think you lose, because you don’t realize that today is the most important day of your life. i think you lose, because you think you have time in excess. i think you lose, because you think, tomorrow brings another chance.

where the average joe thinks in terms of plenty (time, opportunities), you want to think in scarcity.
where the average joe thinks in scarcity (access to women, money, things), you want to think in abundance.

unsuccessful people think they have a lot of time and success will (finally) define them
successful people know they have little time and failure defined them

It is my life, so i’m going to live it my way, because I’ll pay the price in the end. This sounds obvious and simple, but it’s unbelievable how much suffering, grief and anger is in people because of compromising their life choices. They feel obliged to please their parents, partners and friends. They feel obliged to live up to expectations and their assigned role. They marry, they settle down, they take the safe route and choose jobs for all the wrong reasons. They don’t grow into autonomy and have to cheat, trick and steal to have their actual interests/needs met.

With a mature value system you accept higher laws of the universe. One of them being: you didn’t get to choose your birth, so you don’t get to choose your death. You go with the flow. You don’t live in resistance. As a man you face the unknown, you embrace it. suicide is for pussies.

an analogy to understand the existentialism crisis of the modern world:
people stand in front of wardrobes packed with clothes and they still complain about having nothing to wear. having freedom of choice results in ennui, passiveness, overwhelm etc in most people. hence the creation of “the media” in free societies to fill that emptiness by engaging sheeps in the mechanics of decorating their lifes with stuff, instead of decorating their personalities with knowledge or their time with experience.

if something external is thrown at you (a threat, an insult, a compliment, a gift, a death sentence, whatever), you react with your whole life story (what eckhart tolle calls “the pain body”). this is why reference experience trumps everything. getting a lot of reference experiences within a certain domain of expertise is like re-writing the life story in order to respond differently and grow. it’s a rare gift from the universe to live in times where rewriting your life story through taking action is possible.

provoking feelings of guilt in another person is a female trait and an indicator of lack of potence to tap into.
someone hurt us and by being cold and weird we try to provoke guilt in order to correct such misdemeanor, but in reality it’s just a form of manipulation, which is only ever necessary when the first option (confrontation / win-win-solutions / crucial conversations techniques) is not available.

Self-realization means: faced with a specific task in front of me, I DO what I CAN. (mountain climbing metaphors).
It does not mean maintaining a blurry ideal of having already arrived. It involves growth, perseverance and effort.

We design societies that keep the sheep locked in sheep stages.
If you tell a sheep it can become a wolf,
a) it will feel offended and insult you “let ME tell you how the world works”
b) if you go ahead anyway and hand it the “weapons of the wolf” (teeth, jaw, hunting instinct, etc), it will return to other sheep and do great damage with it

Daniel Gilbert – Psychology of Future Self – why people fail to predict change and the amount of change
phenomenon: ease of remembering VS difficulty of imagining. “it’s hard to imagine so it’s unlikely to happen, therefore I navigate by remembering similar experiences”
“human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished. the person you are now is as transient and as temporary as all the people you have ever been. the one constant in life is change”

“You’re walking around the fire expecting not to sweat”
“You n*ggas skipping scenes, while I’m sticking to the script”
– Lil’ Wayne

On Being A Man – 2015 Edition

Vacation from Nothingness

By coincidence I bumped into an old friend last night on the street and was really surprised to meet him. I live in Berlin and originally we’re both from a tiny, non-german, village far away.

He was on vacation and kind of stressed. Which was weird to me.

He explained to me that he’s only got 4 days to get all the sight-seeing done and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever make it to Berlin again, so he feels like he HAS to make the most out of those 4 days. Which meant little sleep and a lot of walking, a lot of taking pictures. He asked for insider recommendations regarding restaurants, bars and which museums were a waste of time.

When we parted ways, it hit me. Neither of us came up with the idea of having a drink and chatting about things, because his artificial busy-ness overshadowed the interaction.

It’s funny, because I do understand that he wants to make the most out of his time here and 4 days are not sufficient to get a decent grasp on any major metropolitan area. It got me thinking.

Why only 4 days? Why does he assume he’ll likely never come back? Why making the most out of vacation at all? If he likes it, why doesn’t he make it a priority, so that this one visit actually really is enough?

Because it’s a symptom. It’s a compromise. It’s what’s left. It’s his only option.

It’s a symptom of people living lives they don’t want to. They applied for something else, were in their own eyes unlucky and now they’re stuck in a sequence of compromises. They’re coping, getting by.

I’m self-employed and excited about my entrepreneurial adventures, so if I wanted to see some place, I’d dictate the time-frame, not someone else. You, being openminded enough to read my things, would probably do the same.

I don’t want to go into a huge rant about why society provokes such thinking and why my buddy doesn’t see through his insanity… I just want to highlight one idea:

The sort of agitating stress and pressure he felt to make the most out of his 4 day visit holds true for all of life. It’s just a different scale.

His time in Berlin was limited and so is his time on earth. So, in a way life on earth is a vacation as well:

A vacation from nothingness.

I don’t believe in gods and an afterlife. I have been a militant atheist a few years ago, now I’m just agnostic and focus on the psychological aspect of it, because I realized atheists are still in an extreme mindset, which can’t survive for too long. It might be a positive extreme, but it’s the same paradigm and not sustainable.

If I die, my consciousness, self-awareness, my ability to self-reflect, my mind, my being and my body just stop and it’s over. Done. No more being, just darkness and non-existence. It’s gonna be the same way it was before I was born. Where was I in 1783? Simple: I wasn’t there. I did not exist. I was non-existence. There was no consciousness that would have understood what was and will be.

So, because my buddy lacked purpose and education, he wasn’t able to translate this into a bigger picture: the way he approached his mini-retreat in Berlin is the way he should approach life.

And by that I mean not to be stressed out and rushing through it, but having a firm understanding that time here is limited and precious and you have to make the most out of the time given. There’s still room for relaxation, joy, fun, rewards and ease, but it’s more streamlined, more process- and journey-oriented. It’s not about numbing yourself with activity and experience either, there is simply more resilience towards time wasting bullshit like engaging in mainstream media. Your “mental hygiene” is an important element of life. You don’t allow others to make you feel bad, you don’t react to everything. You focus on the positive, because those frequencies are healthier for your organism. You grow and you thrive. You accept challenges and understand the inherent lessons in them. You don’t resist everything that scares you and is foreign. You go with the flow. You are hyper aware of the fact that every moment is a moment of your life, that once it is lived, is gone forever. It’s not like you get a second chance to re-do the bad moments. So, while there is rain in every life, a lot of it is just weak judgmentalism, lack of perspective, no mental hygiene, illusionary robbing of agency, reactiveness, feeling of impotence, victimization, lower conscious paradigms through which you filter the world and a lack of discipline to grow, evolve and thrive.

And because we as a society go deeper and deeper into a consumerism culture, that wants us to be melting, silently desperate zombies living from paycheck to paycheck and looking forward to the next iPhone release, we’re not supposed to look at it that way. We’re supposed to see the tree (make the most out of Berlin visit), but not supposed to see the forest (make the most out of life).

Right before we parted ways, I recommended visiting a nice mall, because it was close and there’s nothing like that mall back in our tiny home village. My friend answered, he already went there and it was “okay”, but he wasn’t “blown away”. And that’s the reaction he needs to have in order to function as another Average Joe.

Tony Robbins calls this being in a “frame of expectation” instead of being in a “frame of gratitude”. He approached that mall visit from the paradigm of “What can this mall do for me? Excite me! Stimulate me! Provide me with an exceptional experience! Give me a story I can brag with.”

He is basically asking “What’s in it for me?”, but in order to really enjoy that moment of walking through there, seeing the architecture, the different shops and buzzing microcosm of people, he should be asking “What’s in it for others?”. It’s what I have called the difference between a Me-VS-You-Mindset in many blogposts before. It’s a tremendously important mantra of growth for any man: first half of life = ME focus, second half of life = YOU focus.
–> Make yourself strong in order to make others strong.

Him being able to see that mall and experience its different elements is taken for granted and compared. A man in his prime and on his purpose does understand though, that nothing is for granted and most comparison is indoctrinated futility. He could be innocently rotting in some jail in Indonesia with broken legs and sleazy inmates molesting him. Nothing is for granted and that’s exactly why he is miserable AND a good consumer at the same time. He doesn’t appreciate a place for the simple sake of the idea that others might enjoy it. It’s only about him. He is still a child in demand. The world shall cater to his needs and bend for his joy.

That’s why in a blink from now he’ll be on his deathbed, clinging to life, begging for more, because he will feel he missed out. And he did.

Life is short. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and take us further towards wisdom. Because only wisdom can teach us gratitude. It’s not about the individual’s pursuit of happiness, it’s not about possessions, it’s about enjoying a journey that teaches you to give and be an appreciative server regardless of the feedback. Stephen Covey calls this the difference between primary and secondary greatness.

Life is vacation from nothingness.

Don’t go for secondary greatness.

Make the most out of that short vacation you were given arbitrarily by the universe.

Look at your penis and understand that it’s a penetrating and giving device. Everytime it gives (= ejaculates) there is no guarantee of fruitful feedback in return (= a newborn child). So, the lesson is to trust, give anyway and approach life accordingly (YOU focus). If you think it’s about receiving (ME focus), you’re just like my friend: a pussy ;-)

Life is vacation from nothingness.

Vacation from Nothingness

The craziness of modern society

10000 years ago I would have had to hunt and gather all food available to me by myself.
1000 years ago I would have had to hunt and gather all food available to me within my tribal group.
500 years ago I would have had to exchange food with neighboring tribes in hostile conditions.
300 years ago I would have had to participate in the regional village marketplace to get ahold of food variation.
50 years ago I would have had to walk into a supermarket.

What about today?

The real benefit of technological advancement in my eyes is that it exposes craziness/weirdness in modern mass society. A supermarket is a public distributor’s warehouse. And it’s fully engrained into us that the last segment of delivery is upon us. We walk into the warehouse, search for the stuff we want, take it out of the shelves, kindly wait in line to pay and then “ship” the goods home.
Time is my most precious asset. The goods I buy are compensated via money exchange, but my time isn’t. It’s wasted again and again in line. To me this is madness. I have a deep feeling of urgency to get stuff done everyday. It doesn’t feel right to wait in line like a zombie.

How come people don’t question that? How come people commute everyday killing precious time while being the chauffeur of themselves? I’m an avid, obsessive reader. Imagine you could spend your commute reading. Imagine how much more you’d know and how many mistakes you could avoid with that extra knowledge.

The answer to why people accept that kind of craziness is simple: it used to be an advancement just yesterday. And because most people aren’t really awake, but zombies chasing mirages, they keep at it without ever questioning the inherent weirdness.

A year ago I decided to never set foot into a supermarket again. Except for emergencies. I get food delivered weekly. It’s a combo of a smart fridge, a VA regularly checking my shared Evernote groceries note, Amazon Fresh scripts and various other things. The delivery is synced with the times where the cleaning lady is being at my house already. And she is being assisted by a vacuum cleaner robot, so that there is more free time available to her to let the laundry pickup guys in.

I like technology, because it sets free ressources and allows me to grow in ways my father and grandfather weren’t allowed to. It’s amazing, but it takes an awake mind to see the immanent weirdness of what mass society regards as normal. It’s a thin line.

See, Uber, Amazon Fresh, smart home devices, health trackers and VAs allow me the comforts of a wealthy billionaire without actually being one. But because everything goes hand in hand and feeds into everything else, I’m able to create a strong upwards spiral in my life. And this is a good thing. It’s either up or down. And there are many time brackets in every person’s day, that are being wasted with errands that could be outsourced and/or optimized.

Should you still be gathering food and filling the fridge by yourself?
Should you be an undiagnosed chauffeur of yourself or should you be the boss sitting in the back?
Should you clean your laundry and vacuum clean your home?
Should you get an education from college?
Should you follow the conservative model of marriage -> children -> house?
Should you limit seeing the world to 2 yearly vacations?
Should you become rich at 30 or at 60?
Should you leave diet decisions to Walmart and McDoanld’s?

The bottom line of my rant is: life is short. Time is tremendously precious, so outsource smart. If washing the dishes relaxes you and becomes a meditative exercise that allows you to tap into the Now and become present to the Isness of life as Eckhart Tolle calls it, all good. Keep washing the dishes. If that time could be spent in a more productive way to set yourself onto a path that’ll offer you huge chunks of being present in the future, then drop washing the dishes for good. Modern technology is a tool that allows you to do so with little ressources.

I have 3 permanent, fulltime Virtual Assistants that are located in the Philippines. I’m not dependent on them, because I train myself daily to keep my mind sharp, but I only have 2 hands and 1 brain. So they’re enormously helpful to me. They make a second option available to me. If my dad wanted to raise his levels of wealth, health and happiness he had to work harder. That’s the first option and still applicable today. But the second option is to work smarter through technological assistance. Thereby I can work hard and smart, so that I reach heights my father and grandfather couldn’t.

The craziness of modern society